Sunday Journal: When Chapters Are Meant To Be Just That (And Only That)

“The universe will never give you peace in something you were never meant to settle in.”

A friend shared that quote a few months ago and at the time it felt like a revelation. A way to identify how I’d been feeling for months.

You see, at the end of 2023 we moved to Spain believing it was the next place for us. We had previously spent time all over the country but after visiting Barcelona for a month earlier we felt like it was the place for us. 

This was what we had been searching for. 

So, we dove in thinking (and wanting) it to be home for a year…two…maybe longer depending on how it felt. We were committed to building a life and community there.

However, it never felt easy. 

It never felt like I was melting into the place like I thought it should. Every day felt like a challenge and not in the “expat living in a new country” kind of way (we’ve felt that before).

We found challenges at every corner, at every desire and after about 3 months of making a go of it Nick and I looked at each other and said “what are we DOING?”.

You see, sometimes you start down a path with a specific intention and somewhere along the way you start to lose sight of what you sought in the first place. 

I deeply believe in being open to what life’s handing you and trying it on. 

How is one supposed to know where they belong if they never explore? 

If they never step off the cliff and jump into the unknown?

My whole life I’ve wanted to live abroad. 

My parents both lived in places around the world: Germany, India and visited Australia, Japan, all over Europe and more. I grew up hearing tales of travels, being chased by buffalo in Northern India, meeting strangers who became family and the lives travel has to offer.

So I knew I wanted to live abroad but the question was: where?

The world is big and I had no ties to any of it specifically. 

My first trip abroad wasn’t until I was 23 and I was working a full time job and two side jobs to pay off student loans and get started on life. I looked at Nick and asked if I paid for it would he come with me to Paris and London.

(Note: he was a CPA at the time and hyper focused on building life and he’s always been the one that’s more studious with finances whereas I, the free-spirited, entrepreneur type have always loved to spend on experiences, travel and growth. So I was very proud of doing this.)

I started our first business in 2013 with the goal of being able to build a remote company before it was a thing the world understood.

So in 2021, after preparation, selling our suburban house and 95% of our possessions we booked a flight with a suitcase each, our two dogs and the idea to let life come to us for at least two years in Europe.

We moved to Portugal with the openness of only staying 2-3 years and traveling every summer.

If we loved it we would stay. We were open to it. But when we left we had the intention of coming back to America.

Somewhere around one and a half years in something shifted for me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to return home but I hadn’t found the right place I wanted to live in Europe either. 

Portugal, while beautiful and lovely, had changed rapidly over the 1.5 years since we first arrived and no longer felt aligned.

We’ve traveled and called “home”: Austria, France, Italy and Denmark for at least a month each and loved specific things about each but none of those quite felt like home either. 

In spring of 2023 we spent a month in Barcelona to try the city on. To see if it was the place we had been searching for. After all we do speak a decent level of Spanish and both wanted to become closer to conversational.

So we packed up our lives for the second time in just under two years and committed. 

So back to my original question I asked: “what are we DOING?”.

Well we are moving back to the U.S.A. at some point in 2024! 

As soon as we said it to each other it felt right.

Because we are running towards something and not away from something.

We want to begin to build this business foundation where it can properly flourish. We want to build in person places. We want to create places that I would want to spend time at. We want to fund a dog rescue as a part of this business.

We see the future we want and the timing is right now. 

That’s the funny thing about timing and life. If you try to hold on too tightly you can end up missing out on things that you can’t see right now because you’re too focused on making things happen how you want them. 

Not how they would best unfold.

When we return to the U.S. we will have lived abroad for almost three years(!). And it feels as though that original intention has been fulfilled.

To grow in ways that we truly couldn’t have imagined before we had made the leap.

To expose ourselves to new ways of thinking, living, existing and not in the topical way you get from a day somewhere but from the deep ways of becoming friends with the local barista in over 12 countries

It’s the chance to let go of something good for the chance for something better.

I’ve done this once before. When we lived in Iowa everything was “fine”. Better than fine even. It was lovely. 

But it began to feel tight and small. 

As though we had outgrown the space it was providing and I simply needed more space to expand and grow into the person I’m meant to become. 

The chance to let go of something good – even great – for the chance of something better.

Great changes aren’t meant to be easy.

They’re meant to create a version of you that’s expanded for what the world is waiting to hand you once you have the capacity to hold it.

So what comes next you might ask?

Well, we’re spending summer 2024 on our third summer roadtrip through Europe completing our original intention I set back in 2019. We’re touring England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Ireland before coming back to the U.S. sometime in Fall 2024.

Yes, it’s “sometime” in fall 2024 because we don’t want to put pressure on a date. 

Once we land back in the U.S. we will start a 3 – 12 month journey of exploring exactly where we want to build the next phase of life and where we want portions of this business to take route.

If you’re interested in following this wild, twisty, non-traditional path of life, stick around.

If I know one thing to be truer now than ever it is this: life can be full of more possibilities and highs than you could ever predict.

If only you allow yourself to experience a different chapter or two.